Let me start by explaining the title of this blog. Happy Now! can be asked as a question to ponder. Or when used as a phrase, it’s often sarcastic.
I chose it for the following 3 reasons
First – I’ve been accused on more than one occasion of being sarcastic, so it’s fitting.
Second – I like to ponder important questions. And whether or not one is happy is a very important question. In decades of working as a psychological therapist, coach and trainer, I’ve noticed that every goal any client aspires to achieve, actually boils down to one thing – being happy.
Thirdly – I’ve made an active conscious decision to pursue happiness for myself.
Let me explain ….
When John, my husband and best friend of 33 years died by suicide, in many ways my own life also ended. For the first couple of years I walked and talked but I wasn’t really present. I was the antithesis of happy.
One method I used to manage my grief, complicated by the sudden, unexpected, and I believe preventable nature of John’s death, was to write.
This ended up as a memoir = “A Hummingbird and A Harley”. Producing the book was in many ways therapeutic. It was also a weird mixture of giving birth and the creation of ‘Triggers broom! Giving birth because once labour starts there’s no going back no matter how excruciating the pain gets. And Triggers’ broom from the classic TV comedy series ‘Only fools and horses’. Trigger, a road sweeper, claims he’s had the same broom for 20 years. Only during that time it had ’17 different heads and 14 different handles’. I may have ended up producing a single book but along the way it had several ‘heads and handles’.
The first couple of years following John’s death were hard – really hard. I still had to work, so even though I felt like crawling under a stone I put on a smile and got on with it. There were also additional losses to deal with, due to estrangement from family. THANK GOD for my daughter Phoebe, and a few great friends – some of whom were unlikely saviours.
As the book neared completion I knew if I was to have any kind of life worth living, I had to focus on being happy now, with life just the way it is. Rather than the way I would prefer it to be. While I’ll never get over John’s tragic death and being left his widow, I do want to move on. So I chose to actively pursue happiness.
I hope you will enjoy this blog – It’s for you …
if you’ve experienced trauma of any kind but do not want it to define you or your entire life –
if you’d just like some tips on being a bit happier –
if you know that good mental health is the result of a lot more than just balancing brain chemicals –
I hope you will join me on this journey and that like me you will be Happy Now!