Happy 1st September

Wow start of a new month and I realised I haven’t written a post since 19th July – when I admitted to struggling a bit.

So what have I been up to? 

Well I decided to consciously focus on my own wellbeing. Which among other things involved a bit less doing and a bit more being.

Reluctantly I made the decision to give up my work with the recovery refuge. Although the feedback from both the residents and the staff was very positive, I realised every single woman I met there took little piece of my heart. I also realised my heart is still too shattered for me to give any of it away. I was humbled by the way the residents faced the such adversity. And by the dedication of the front line staff who work in the recovery refuge. I learned so much during that eight months and I am very pleased I did it.

Another wake up call was that at the beginning of August my daughter Phoebe was taken seriously ill very suddenly, resulting in admission to hospital via A & E. Due to Covid, I wasn’t allowed to be with her. I felt utterly powerless and terrified. The whole awful episode reminded me just how very important and dear to me she is. She truly is my number one priority.

During the past few weeks there have also been some really happy times too. 

Together with my friend Loraine, I attended (part of) the Burning Woman Festival. We belly danced in the woods – enjoyed a drumming workshop – relaxed in a gong bath – and marched hand in hand across red hot coals on a fire walk. We shared lots of laughter, great conversations and a few glasses of wine.

– For the first time in what felt like forever – I went to a live gig to see my daughter’s boyfriend play in his band. 

– I was delighted to co host a ‘live in the room event!’ – on the power real life stories have to inspire, with Chris Freer and Pru Oliver.

– For my podcast I interviewed the person who first trained me in hypnotherapy, Jure. It was an interesting conversation. When recording stopped, he confirmed the wisdom of my decision to take better care of myself, by saying “Something in you seems to have given up – where is your spark?” 

I’ve done the following  – 

–   Boot camp – not for me

–   Yoga – definitely for me

–   CBD oil – definitely for me

–   Reiki drum treatment – definitely for me

–   Day spa – definitely for meGoing to the lovely Mercury Theatre in Colchester, with the equally lovely Loraine Cook to see the inspiring Grayson Perry’s ‘A show for normal people’….. definitely definitely for me.

I have also spent quite a bit of time contemplating ways to rebalance and heal the nervous system – watch this space!

My top 5 take aways from this period of time – 

  1. I need to look after myself- because I am the only I that I have. 
  2. It’s important to focus on the people who actually matter most.
  3. Consciously engaging in fun activities is always a good investment of time. 
  4. Although there are lots of arenas where my skills are useful, I want to focus on work that energises me. 
  5. Just like a roller coaster, life has ups and downs – and bits in between where you just rattle along hoping that what comes next will be more enjoyable than terrifying.

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